The First Conversation
The longer we live, the more it feels like time passes quickly. We watch our families grow up and expand to give us grandchildren, even great-grandchildren, and we realize we’re not getting any younger and think of our third act in life. We have wishes as to how we would want to live our lives in the event of an accidental tragedy or a sudden health crisis. We have things we have amassed and treasured throughout our lives that we want to give to those special people to remember us by. The last thing we want is to burden our loved ones and cause tension or disagreement when we cannot make our own decisions or after we’re gone. We need a plan. Talking with our loved ones about our demise and thinking about the world carrying on without us is indeed a very difficult conversation to initiate. It’s not easy to think about, but it’s essential. Getting in front of it will lessen the worry later. Here are a few things to remember when starting this first conversation.
Plan a special evening to have this discussion with family. Make sure everyone you envision has a role in managing you and your affairs can be present. This is an emotional conversation best done in person in the presence of those you love and trust.
Lead the conversation and know what your intentions are. Have notes prepared because this talk can easily get sidetracked, and you may overlook something. It may upset family members to think of you losing your mental or physical faculties or life, and they may not be able to handle this discussion easily. If there are life decisions you are firm on, let those decisions be known. If you seek your family’s input, make that known and be open to all suggestions. The more you can involve people individually, the more they will understand their role and accept your wishes. By initiating this conversation, it is showing them how much you love and care for them. It will unburden them from making decisions based on their judgment and intentions under stressful, emotional conditions, which may contradict your wishes. Do your best to keep a caring and loving tone to the conversation. Let everyone there know they were invited because you trust them to care for you and make life decisions if you can no longer. Caring for a loved one who can no longer care for themselves is one of life’s highest honorable callings.
Once you complete this conversation, it’s essential to make your wishes official in the eyes of the law and consult legal counsel so that your decisions can be implemented without outside interference. As needs and circumstances change, your attorney can adjust your plan based on your wishes. They will guide you through creating a Life Care Plan, Power of Attorney, Estate Planning, Financial Management, Last Will & Testament, and more. Elder Law of East Tennessee can help you on this journey and give you and your family peace of mind. Even if you’re starting to think about initiating the first conversation, we have professionals on staff who have helped hundreds of client families start and complete the needed required processes and conversations. We’re happy to help guide you every step of the way. Contact us today.
